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Sunday, January 4, 2009

Quotes :)

Girl meets boy, girl falls hard, boy doesn't even stumble.

While i was holding on, all you did was LET GO

Sometimes it's better to be alone. No one can hurt you that way.

You only love him because you fear that he's the only one that will love you back

You're the one who broke my heart. You're the reason my world fell apart. You're the one that made me cry. And yet, i'm still in love with you, and i don't know why.

The saddest thing in the world is loving someone who used to love u.

Your heart isin't plastic, and it isin't a toy. but if you want it broken, give it to a boy

I wonder how many times we'll have to say goodbye before we finally let go.


what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 12:10 AM
2 people in the crowd heard my words

Saturday, December 27, 2008

The sadness..










what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 7:49 PM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

Thursday, December 25, 2008

December is a month of heartaches. No ho fucking Christmas. December sucks.

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 8:32 PM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

I want to disappear. Somewhere i cannot be found or recognized. I can start a whole new life there again. I wanna be in a place where unicorns exist.. A place which only consist of nice caring people. Especially boys that wont break your heart. Where happily ever after truly does exist. And not just for the lucky ones.


You left me hanging on a thread. You left in the middle of a convo. You never make things clear. It's just u. Expecting everyone to know everything. I'm stuck in transition. Not knowing where should i go. Waiting for the light to turn green or red.


This might mean nth to u. But it's driving me crazy. No sleep, no food, no nth. Just the numbness and snapping at people.. This is so fucked up.


How can a boy affect me this much. It's ridiculous. Stupid.

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 8:14 PM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

Monday, December 22, 2008

Beyonce - Single ladies



<3 this

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 1:48 PM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

Saturday, December 20, 2008

We either only focus on the big picture, and the small details are forgotten and overseen or we focus on the small little details that we miss out on the big thing.


Can we do both? Is it possible?

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 11:13 PM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

Black and white

It was easy back then when we were kids. Black and white. Right and wrong. It was a piece of cake. When in wrong, just say sorry. No guilt. No feeling sorry for yourself. It was a piece of cake. Say thank you. Say excuse me. Say please. You'll then get all the cookies, love and affection.



As we grow older, things got blurrier. Everything was mixed up. We start seeing more, feeling more, learning more, talking more. The good and the bad all inside our head, hitting and slamming into us like restless waves.




New colors were introduced to us. Blue, red, yellow. And then, you learn how to mix them up. And then you get beige, pink, magenta, ocean blue, whichever color you want. The world was yours as you slowly forget the basic colors. Your roots. Your needs. You get greedier. You forget everything else as you grow.




Do we say thank you when we steal? Do we say I'm sorry when we murder. Do we say please when we shoplift?



We slowly make up excuses for our wrong beings. We start to believe in God, taboos, witchcraft; whichever teachings or beliefs that reflect our own. Something we can hide our wrong doings and turn it into something else which we THINK is noble or right. We start to confide in them because it helps us feel better inside. That we have something to help us support our sad pathetic excuses.



You want to explore more colors. And if you get an ugly one, or one which you do not want, you'll say it's fate. Or it's all in God's hands. We get to bring justice in our wrong doings. Twisted little world.





Where are our carefree young happy souls? We're just hiding inside this shallow body of ours cause we care about what the world thinks. We live according to society. Fear, ego, bla bla bla.






All because it's much more "prettier" or "exciting" than just the basic dull black and white.

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 9:42 PM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

Sighs I feel so used. Haha maybe I'm just being overly sensitive. But baby, sometimes you gotta know the limit. You can't keep doing this.

I still have feelings. I have the patience for you but please do not take advantage of it.

Be careful. I'm getting tired of this.

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 2:08 PM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

Friday, December 19, 2008

Today I went out with mummy for lunch n den followed her around to do her business. And while she was driving, she drove over a bump kinda fast and i was like " WWhhhooaa!"

I think she already knew that I was about to complain so she started talking right away

Mummy: Aiyarr!! This one.. this one..

Me: What this onee.. You know how to drive over bumps or not..

Mummy: No no this one.. You cannot scold the people who build the bumps you know..

Me: What scold the people! I'm complaining bout u!

Mummy: No no.. you cannot complain about them.. because because.. they drive motorbike.. So they do not know how "hiong" the bump is..

Me: I'm not complaining about them! It's you! You know you gotta slow down when ur near a bump!

Mummy *oblivious to me* : They don't know how to estimate the height.. the length..the speed all those maa..

Me: This has nth to do with them!

Mummy * giving up on the workers* : I'm not the one making the bumps ma.. I don't know the height..the length.. So how do i know when to slow down and how to cross over the bump

Me: Everyone knows you slow down when you're near a bump! It's so obvious. No matter how big or small the bump is, if u drive thru it without slowing down you'll still jump...

Mummy: Aiyar.. different bump different ways laaa.. This one not same one..

I gave up..

So we went to the bank.. And she turned a corner way too early so she kinda bumped and went up the sidewalk.

Me being cynical and all : So this is also the worker's fault?

Mummy: This one ar... this one contractor lousy one! Makan kopi o one laaa..! Fail one fail one!.. Faster take picture! I want to complain!

Me: ................... eek

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 7:29 PM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

"I'm tired... I think it's time to go."
"Just a little longer."
"We're always gonna want just a little longer."
"I don't think I can do it."
"It's okay."
"It's NOT okay. Why is it okay with you?
Why aren't you angry?"
"It's not the last feeling I want to experience."

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 7:22 PM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

You tell me this today. And you tell me that the next. I'm still confused. You can say sth the total opposite of what you've just told me a few days ago.

Are whatever words that comes out from your oh so kissable lips not trust able at all? Or do you think it's just words that people won't take seriously?

I don't get your jokes sometimes. I really don't know when you're serious or not cause you can just come on to me later and said hey i told you so.. but you weren't joking then..



Or am I the joke?

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 1:13 PM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

Thursday, December 18, 2008

WHAT DO YOU WWWAANNNTT?!?!?!










eek

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 8:22 PM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

J e s s i c a


She wants to know if I love her,
that’s all anyone wants from anyone else,
not love itself,
but the knowledge that love is there,
like regularly replacing unused batteries
for the flashlight in the emergency kit
in the hall closet.

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 7:56 PM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

It feels like a one way street with you.

One minute i feel like you do want me.. The next, i feel like you can't wait to throw me to the curb.

I'm really confused. All these emotions r tiring me down. What more can I do?

Explain to me. What do you want. What do you really feel. Make it clear.

Don't just pretend like there's nothing wrong. You know how i feel. You know what I want. You're either playing the fool and continue ignoring it or you really don't know?

I'm all restless inside. I need an answer.


sad cry sad cry sad cry sad

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 6:18 PM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

You push me away, and you pull me back.
You're leading me in circles
I'm nauseous just waiting for ur replies




What do you really want?
Are you serious?
You said u were.. but did u mean it?




I'm confused and dazed.
I usually have all the answers.
But it's always a huge question mark when it comes to you.



What do you want me to do?
What can i say?
Tell me.

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 3:35 PM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Tired of the tears...

And the petty things in between.....


The heartaches are a waste of time
Love is a waste of time
A waste of emotion
A waste of me



Tired of feeling unwanted

No I will never learn from my mistakes. Nor will i stop making them. The irony and the stupidity. I get it. I do want to stop. But i can't.

The time spent caring about the person. Loving the significant other. Worrying or being excited for and with the special someone. It's time well wasted. Fruitless.



Everything's just a waste of time..



what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 2:32 AM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

Thursday, November 27, 2008

When emo,


....Blast your speakers




Zone out.......







`........Day dream




- s m i l e :) -

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 7:15 PM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

How

How do you stop yourself from falling in love?
How do you control yourself??
How do you forget someone so easily?
How do you play with fire and not get burnt?
How do you choose who to fall in love with?

I mean I know you can choose first n den fall but what if she isn't whom you want to fall in love with but u did, what would you do?
How do you get out of it?
How can u stop it?


How do you manage to control yourself?

How do you love someone and deny it?
How can you be with someone you don't love?
How can you love someone else with all your heart but be with someone else whom you don't love?

How do you be heartless?
How do you be "feelingless"?




Teach me..

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 11:07 PM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

Monday, November 24, 2008

LOL

Lol was fucking emo yesterday lol

But the tears have dried n I'm feeling better mrgreen

Hmm what other updates have I to update. Oh yes..


I pulled out one problematic tooth of mine. So now I am one tooth short.. sad
It feels so weird when i try to pronounce things. And i really do feel like i have a bloody big hole in my mouth. When i drink water, I can feel it leaking. cry Hmpft.
I'm gonna go back on Thurs to letak balik!



Oh yes.. yesterday Ayryn and I woke up kinda late. at around 4. We bathed, and went to makan at the mamak. I ordered Nasi Goreng Kg kurang pedas, tambah ikan bilis. My food came with no ikan bilis at all, and pedas mad.

So naturally i was complaining like nuts to Ayryn.. And she tried it and says it's not TOO pedas la.. Still can eat..

Then i replied, " But you know it's too early to..... * -pauses.. thinks quietly..- wait.. it's 4. early? No..nononono*

Ayryn, " Hahahah! You meant you can't eat such spicy food once u wwaakkee uupp?"

I: Mmm Hmmm... redface


Anyways was friggin blur the whole week. Hmm..


what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 4:24 PM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

He is a player but at least he's not a liar.. :) thanks

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 3:16 AM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

Pull me out from this pool of tears
Save me from the heartaches


How shall i ever get over you
I thought you were the one
I thought this was it


-Boy, did i thought wrong.


Bleargh it's too early for me to emo. We're not even together. We're just two human beings who like each other. Well I do like him. I don't know bout him. Maybe he likes me and 50 other girls
neutral



.....Sighs

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 2:25 AM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

What do you think?

This is the sound of a broken heart beating -

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 2:12 AM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

Who am i to you? Do you care? Will you hurt me?



When I asked you to promise me, you could not.
When I asked you why, you said we cannot predict the future.

It's obvious you want the easy way out later on.

You will have your own argument.
You will point everything out. And said I did warn you about it

As if those words are just another hello, goodbye coming out from ur lips.

It's not about me anymore. It's about u. If you want me in ur life, you'll find a way to put me there, and keep me there.

They say love is giving him the power to destroy you but trusting him not to. But can i trust u?

Why hurt me? Why play with me? Please have some compassion. If you're playing just tell it to my face and not lead me on.

Just for the rush of the chase. Or just cause ur lonely.

If it's just temporary, tell me.



.......Please...

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 12:13 AM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

Sunday, November 23, 2008

It gets harder during the night when you are all alone sad

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 10:42 PM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

Sighs` Feeling blue..

Falling for the wrong guy all over again
..

He's a player..
.

* Dear heart, I met a boy.. Prepare to be shattered....



I should not trust ppl so easily should I? But how would i know if it's the truth or not? What if I hurt him for the wrong reasons? Would i rather get hurt than let him get hurt?


What's wrong with me?


Why am I being so considerate. Naive.. Giving him the benefit of the doubt.. Nice? Reasonable? Fair?

Nah.. I'm starting to think I'm more likely to have been stupid rather than any of the above..


And how can they even think of playing around with LOVE? What's wrong with society. sad


For the thrill of the chase. The fun that comes out from it? Doesn't it get old? Don't you feel that at one point, your life seems so meaningless and empty and everything was just nothing? What is the end result of all the chase? The glory? No..


Don't you want sth that can last? For more than just a few months?


Sigh.. I'm tired




cry

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 7:31 PM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

Sighs

Chinese New Year is not serious

He doesn't want to be serious

He's just playing..
....

...

..

.


sad

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 1:23 AM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

breakeven

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just praying to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her 1st
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven

What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But not wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven

What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains
Cos you left me with no love, no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just praying to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)


sad

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 8:18 PM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

next top model?

First America's Next Top Model.. Then Australia's Next Top Model.. And now Britain's Next Top Model?! Whoo.. When's Malaysia's Next Top Model? mrgreen

Hmm.. I still think America's Next Top Model has the hottest girls lol

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 12:29 AM
2 people in the crowd heard my words

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Catch a falling star and put it in ur pocket, never let it fade away biggrin

Hmm my sleeping time's screwed up. I sleep at 7 o 8 in the morning and i wake up at 3 o 4 in the afternoon. SHIT.

I tried so hard to sleep before 2 yesterday. I offed my tv and lappie but i was tossing and turning and could not get a min of shut eye. So i woke up, played my DS, on the tv again, and started chattin till it was 5 sth. Argh. i need to wake up for classes!! cry

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 9:22 PM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

Saturday, October 25, 2008

argh

I feel so depressed. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fucked up. I need someone to love. I want a serious relationship. No more flings. I need to find the right guy. Argh! I so fucking emo now. mad

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 3:05 AM
2 people in the crowd heard my words

Friday, October 24, 2008

I think I'm just afraid that i can't find someone good enough who has all the qualifications to call mine sad

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 1:55 AM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

Why are You here?


luff gnaw stare read.

It's Her


Boo. I come from out of this planet. No superhero but i will save the world. Like i care if u believe. Im crazy. I have a string of random thoughts from my head. Call me delusional. Spongebob's my friend.

She wants to know if I love her, that’s all anyone wants from anyone else, not love itself, but the knowledge that love is there, like regularly replacing unused batteries for the flashlight in the emergency kit in the hall closet.

Current Status


Heartbreaking :(

Her desires


`Cash `Car `Him `Love


The Judges


  • Mr Bak is uh huh
  • Renn Hot Stuff needs to cool it off
  • maefurriel jojo
  • Edine rocks my socks
  • Siew Mei mei mei
  • Graphical Nigel Prawn
  • Sexay Bestie


  • Them stalkers.

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